“You cannot chase someone without running yourself!”

“Ha! What are you saying?!?”

Okay this may trigger some of you in our beautiful Twin Flame Community, but stay with this thought-provoking line for a moment…

I love reading in Twin Flame Stories in groups, seeing the questions and hearing about their experiences. Those groups simply inspire me…

In the past I would find hope there when I myself was in a seriously complicated situation and presently it offers me insight for my blogs as a Life Coach.

I told my partner about a post I read by someone who said she was a chaser and he pointed out to me:

If someone chases their Twin Flame, they are also running away from the relationship.

I paused for a second, realizing that he was making an important point!
I looked at him and asked him to continue this truly interesting statement…

He continued:

Would a hunter run after the deer he is hunting?
If a hunter wants to hunt deer, will he run after them – or will he study them, learn what they like, set a trap and let them come to him?

Men and Women often don’t spend the time to truly get to know the one they say they love. All they do is project their fantasies on them instead of getting to know the real being behind their desire.

This inspired me to write my blog today.

I now see the Twin Flame Runner-Chaser-Dynamic in a very different light.

Looking back now, I know I am guilty of doing both as well.

I did not just chase my partner in the beginning, I also ran from him.
And that for almost 2 years…

I did both at the same time, it’s a paradox in a way, but not really – if you think about it.

A chaser is running as well…

Why would a chaser run away?

Because Reality isn’t always as beautiful as a dream – it can be so much better…
But is it your dream or is it a dream you and your Twin Flame have together?
A dream is a dream, reality is different.

A single dream is easy to control. But this is Twin Flame, not Single Flame.
You and your Twin Flame both need to agree on the dream you have together.
You have to let reality unfold before your eyes, you can not control the outcome.

You have to trust that your Twin Flame feels the same for your and that he wants to live the life with you.

Maybe he needs time to prepare (mine did!) and let go of the past. Let go of expectations of others so your Twin Flame can focus on the journey you two have together.

Back in the beginning, I was afraid that what I was feeling would be the most miraculous and beautiful relationship in my life and that I had no more reason to complain about men in general.

I would have to take the responsibility of being happy.
I would have to accept that dreams can come true…

When I realized how paradox I was being, I changed my attitude.

I did everything I could to become the best version of myself first – so that no matter what happened, I did all I could to make my own world as positive and beautiful as possible.

And I had to realize that I was his perfect match, that I had already won because I had met the man of my life and it was up to me to invite him back into my life, as the best version of myself.

And it worked.

The man who I chased back then has become my life-partner, but only after I went through this epiphany and after I was happy, no matter the outcome.

Don’t get me wrong.
It doesn’t mean that we never argue, that we are always happy and there never is one moment of sadness or stress.

It means, that we are together, not matter what – and if there are any issues, we will talk about them and change things to come back to living Heaven on Earth together.

The truth is that women as well as men often have an ideal about their twin flame, an idea of who they are and what they are like – but we never give them the chance and honor to show us who they truly are.

We make assumptions.
We think we know them,

but if we don’t know ourselves,
how can we know anyone else?
It took my divine partner and me 1.5 years to truly commit to this beautiful relationship.

So if you are stuck in your life, feeling you are a chaser – answer me this:

Have you ever taken the time to truly meet your partner, heart to heart – or are you dreaming of how s/he is more than truly getting to know her/him?

How about you stop running/chasing and take a deep breath, allowing him/her to stand still as well – and then you both can get to know each other without running or chasing around.

If you realize you are running as well, listen into your heart and find out why.

What do you have to lose?

The true work in a relationship starts when the Disney movies end…

…but that is a blog post for another day.

So stay tuned and let me know what you think about the runner-chaser relationship with Twin Flames.

La Ara

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