Tag Archives: true love

Relationship – Working On Yourself First!

Ladies, especially the ones who are unhappy with – or angry at – a man right now… I would love to have a conversation with you, from heart to heart.

The other day I was talking to my man about relationships and exes and things really started to get me thinking:

Honestly, what do we women expect from men?
We expect way too much. We want them to be perfect (they have to live up to our expectations) and if they go a little off of the path of perfection, we drop them or badmouth them, in front of friends, family and on Facebook.or we continuously post posts about how we strong women don’t need men yada yada ya. But in the end one of our deepest desires is to be with someone special, right?

Remember… the law of attraction. Like attracts like… and isn’t the man we dated or the man we are with our own reflection?

When I was single I lived in New York by myself for 3 years. Even before that I lived by myself for more than 13 years and it gave me time to truly know myself. No distractions. I was searching for love, yes, but not just any love.
True love. Someone who could be a true partner by my side. I read a lot of books on men and women but most of all on the divine feminine. Since I was 17 I researched and even did my school finals in psychology on ‘Men’s fear on strong women’.

I took the time to discover who I am – read a lot and explored my environment.
I so adored taking myself to a show or a movie and especially out to eat.

I learned to truly enjoy being by myself because I knew there would come a day where I would no longer be by myself. Then I would get to share everything with a special someone but til then I would be my own special someone.

I did not search for someone actively. Maybe that has to do with my stubbornness of loving one man at a time and for a while even if he doesn’t love me back. You can say that’s good or bad, if you like, but it helped me to get here.
That’s how I am, i don’t give up. Not on people, not on friends, not on plans and visions.

I feel lucky that I was that way because it didn’t allow me to go crazy and sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry… and that’s easy to do in New York City…

When I did go out with someone and things didn’t go the way I wanted them to go: I did a self analysis. I wrote about it, spoke with friends i chose to be my go-to-person and made choices to treat myself better and to have others treat me better.

Most importantly I didn’t say to myself that every man is stupid and that it only had to do with him that things went wrong.

I truly feel that women nowadays have too many high expectations and don’t bring enough to the table themselves.
We want our men to be successful, wealthy, emotionally stable, no mama-boy, spiritually ready… completely complete.

You will never get a ‘perfect ‘ man because we are all human and even if we think we are done with a topic there may still be something inside of us that may need attention later in life.

Let me ask you this:
are you there already? Are you finished, do you completely know what you want in life? Because if not…

Wouldn’t you say we can only expect from someone else something that we have already reached?!?

As soon as we still have our own topics that take up our energy, like past family issues or past dramas and people we can’t forgive… are we really at the point to ask from our men that they have to be ‘better’ than us.

I am in a very fortunate and happy place but my relationship is far from perfect and I wouldn’t want it to be. If it were so, where would be room to grow together?
I am not my partner and he is not me so we can’t expect to understand each other all the time or to read each other’s mind.
Being together in a two room trailer means to accept each other unconditionally with all the flaws we have and I know that I have many flaws!
I thank my partner that he loves me as I am and doesn’t want to try to change me. Yet we talk about everything that isn’t right yet and we will both try to make things better.

Being in a relationship means to go through life together. You can’t expect anyone to catch you if you haven’t caught yourself.

And if you haven’t truly taken the time to get to know yourself, how can you expect someone else to know you?

Just a few thoughts I put out there to anyone who is ready to read it.

Much love,

La Ara

The Fall

She screamed with no voice. Unheard but heard deeper by the universe than any scream-out-of-her-voice could have provoked.

Why was he unable to hear her, to see her, to find her, when all that was there was this infinite love within both of them.

But what other chance did she have than to simply let (herself) go and fall into the thorns of the woods, against every bone in her body that told her it would only hurt… she would be bruised and might even die from the fall.

She was lying on the ground of the tower and wasn’t able to speak…
But she was alive. She felt every muscle crying out in pain, but the love within her heart kept her from fainting. There was not much time left. If her mother found her here, she would die anyway.

In a dark world, filled with hate and jealousy – two hearts were brought together – she would not give up just because someone destroyed the only access he had to come to her. As long as her heart would beat, it would call out for him and the pain of being apart from him was stronger than the pain within her body.

Slowly she picked herself up and stumbled into the forest, to find the man who had been seeking for her all of his life.

Rapunzel ran through the woods, wounded from the fall she went through when she escaped the tower, but she did it, to see her prince again. She didn’t give up because she knew that a world without true love wasn’t worth living for.

 

La Ara

 

being of woods

Rise in love, don’t fall…

Falling in love is one thing. Rising in love is another.
It often starts with the fall until you rise together.

Rising in love means that nothing and no one will be able to break the promises and bonds you give each other and that you live your love every day.

It starts with you as a person. Finding yourself and your purpose on earth in the first place. It’s when both of you are whole and happy within that you will be able to give each other love and look at each other with love.

Then little things won’t bother you because you understand that they are part of the other.

If you are single, do yourself a favor and focus on yourself. You will meet the right person when you are ready to start over.

If you are too focused on the need of being with someone, you don’t get to enjoy life the way you should.

Life is a gift, a present – and present is the magical word in this sentence.

Be present with yourself, be a present to yourself. Enjoy being by yourself, having no one to answer to but yourself.

Only then can you hear the call of your true love after all!

 

La Ara

Love is the Answer

What people often don’t understand is that a relationship is not the end – it’s a start, a beginning of something entirely NEW – especially at this age and time.

I am not talking about affaires or little sexual adventures I am talking about a commitment of two souls, the two higher selves,  the calling, the feeling of love that is filled with abundance.

When you are with the wo/man you love, you can move mountains. Miracles happen. And success in on its way. Four eyes see more than two – especially the inner eyes.

No one has to be alone and no one is meant to be alone.

It’s two + 1 – the two souls that unite and the Spirit/the magic within that makes things come together, that makes things happen.

Patterns and fearful structures of when and where – how old you must be to be married or in a relationship – that’s what keeps us apart from the true joy we can feel when we are connected to the soul that is meant to be in our lives.

Who cares where we are financially or securely…
We think: when I am financially/emotionally secure, then I am ready.

But are we? Are we ever really ready? Won’t there be something we could always do better, prepare for before we do the big steps in our lives?

It takes bravery, it takes:
knowing who you are and what your calling is.

What if your life begins the moment you say YES to the other person?
What if the world is waiting for the two pillars to burst into oneness to make success happen?

You can always fight alone – but is this going to help you?
What if you need someone to stand with you, as a mirror, a reflection, your other you – the person that gets you into your heart and out of your head?!?

It’s good to have someone we can talk to – talk about our fears, worries and someone who cheers us up.
Someone we can lean on, in times of pain or stress and someone to share your deepest joys and success with…
Someone who helps us SNAP out of our “drama” in times.

The person who may not be exactly you, but who feels you, who knows you (not intellecutally but your soul).

We are here to make a change – but not alone.

If we get too busy and don’t listen within, we can go on like this for years. But then we look back and we haven’t built a foundation of trust, of love, commitment with someone and we may end up alone in a time when we are too used to being alone as to be able to share our abundance.

Love is always the answer… no matter what.
Listen to your heart and follow your intuition when you are guided to someone who touches your soul.

If love is your foundation, you will grow stronger every day – and the adventure of life can begin.

La Ara