Tag Archives: Relationships

Relationship – Working On Yourself First!

Ladies, especially the ones who are unhappy with – or angry at – a man right now… I would love to have a conversation with you, from heart to heart.

The other day I was talking to my man about relationships and exes and things really started to get me thinking:

Honestly, what do we women expect from men?
We expect way too much. We want them to be perfect (they have to live up to our expectations) and if they go a little off of the path of perfection, we drop them or badmouth them, in front of friends, family and on Facebook.or we continuously post posts about how we strong women don’t need men yada yada ya. But in the end one of our deepest desires is to be with someone special, right?

Remember… the law of attraction. Like attracts like… and isn’t the man we dated or the man we are with our own reflection?

When I was single I lived in New York by myself for 3 years. Even before that I lived by myself for more than 13 years and it gave me time to truly know myself. No distractions. I was searching for love, yes, but not just any love.
True love. Someone who could be a true partner by my side. I read a lot of books on men and women but most of all on the divine feminine. Since I was 17 I researched and even did my school finals in psychology on ‘Men’s fear on strong women’.

I took the time to discover who I am – read a lot and explored my environment.
I so adored taking myself to a show or a movie and especially out to eat.

I learned to truly enjoy being by myself because I knew there would come a day where I would no longer be by myself. Then I would get to share everything with a special someone but til then I would be my own special someone.

I did not search for someone actively. Maybe that has to do with my stubbornness of loving one man at a time and for a while even if he doesn’t love me back. You can say that’s good or bad, if you like, but it helped me to get here.
That’s how I am, i don’t give up. Not on people, not on friends, not on plans and visions.

I feel lucky that I was that way because it didn’t allow me to go crazy and sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry… and that’s easy to do in New York City…

When I did go out with someone and things didn’t go the way I wanted them to go: I did a self analysis. I wrote about it, spoke with friends i chose to be my go-to-person and made choices to treat myself better and to have others treat me better.

Most importantly I didn’t say to myself that every man is stupid and that it only had to do with him that things went wrong.

I truly feel that women nowadays have too many high expectations and don’t bring enough to the table themselves.
We want our men to be successful, wealthy, emotionally stable, no mama-boy, spiritually ready… completely complete.

You will never get a ‘perfect ‘ man because we are all human and even if we think we are done with a topic there may still be something inside of us that may need attention later in life.

Let me ask you this:
are you there already? Are you finished, do you completely know what you want in life? Because if not…

Wouldn’t you say we can only expect from someone else something that we have already reached?!?

As soon as we still have our own topics that take up our energy, like past family issues or past dramas and people we can’t forgive… are we really at the point to ask from our men that they have to be ‘better’ than us.

I am in a very fortunate and happy place but my relationship is far from perfect and I wouldn’t want it to be. If it were so, where would be room to grow together?
I am not my partner and he is not me so we can’t expect to understand each other all the time or to read each other’s mind.
Being together in a two room trailer means to accept each other unconditionally with all the flaws we have and I know that I have many flaws!
I thank my partner that he loves me as I am and doesn’t want to try to change me. Yet we talk about everything that isn’t right yet and we will both try to make things better.

Being in a relationship means to go through life together. You can’t expect anyone to catch you if you haven’t caught yourself.

And if you haven’t truly taken the time to get to know yourself, how can you expect someone else to know you?

Just a few thoughts I put out there to anyone who is ready to read it.

Much love,

La Ara

Selfcare

Some people have it naturally…
…but others struggle with it…
SELF LOVE.
In order to be happy in this world and to walk freely amongst others, with an open heart and filled with love, you have to give yourself everything first.
Whatever you would want to give others…. give it to yourself first!
Go out to the movies, watch the stars in the sky, read a book to yourself.
Take yourself to the most exquisite restaurant and enjoy alone-time.
You are more important than anyone else out there.
Because honestly: almost everyone puts him/herself first.
So why shouldn’t you?
It is not ego-istic, although ego simply is the latin word for “I” and why shouldn’t “I” take care of myself? Who else would do it if not I???
Your ego is the identity you walk around with every day. The moment you learn that you are separate from others you learn to say “I”.
It’s not a “bad thing” at all, it depends on how you use it… it’s always about balance.

Our life is not a Hollywood movie (that would mean it lasts for 2 hours and we would only see the highlights in it) but it can come close to it with these three important steps:

1) Be the most important person in your life.
2) Be the main role, not some minor part.
3) Take care of yourself as if you were your best friend.

You don’t have to only be there for others, in the contrary.
Be there for yourself first and you can take care of others in no time.
But if you are only here to serve others, you will soon have no more energy in your life.
Some people sacrifice themselves so much that they get burned out… you have to feed your flame with air in order for it to continue to burn – it needs room to burn, space.
Spread your wings on the path of selflove and say out loud: I love myself! Look into the mirror, deep into your eyes – and look at you as if you would look at your partner. With the eyes of truest love.
Allow your inner fire to burn intensely, for you and for others, by taking time to yourself and loving yourself as much as you love everyone else, if not a little more 😉
Have a glorious Monday, everyone.
Start the week right by loving yourself as who you are!
Remember – out of billions of people, you came here to be yourself.
So enjoy your journey! It is amazing that you are here, right now, on this planet with so much freedom.
I wish you peace and happiness!
La Ara

My Miracle Day (a Life Lesson)

Almost a year ago, Tim and I had a time apart. 
A time that was necessary for the both of us – in order to grow and truly know what we want… a time in which I truly suffered and yet I felt it was a cleansing that was completely necessary in order for my next step ahead…

…I had no idea…

The day on which Tim came back into my life (and stayed) on February 19th 2017, was a miraculous day…

I remember walking through Brooklyn, by the ocean, listening to an mp3 by my dear friend Maya KahNah who did a reading on my twin flame and me.

She made it very clear that it was up to me to allow things to happen in my life. My responsability to trust in the process and to have faith in us. That I was very powerful and that my thoughts of feeling less than I am could keep him away from me.

Though I loved him more than anything, I realized I was ready to let go… especially of control and trusted in the process…

I had written him a text message a few days before, telling him that I miss him and that I asked of his forgiveness of my reactions when he broke up with me.

The weather was beautiful and I felt blessed to take a walk by the water. I calmed down and relaxed, with headphones on my head.

I had listened to Matt Kahn the other day – who had a great exercise which makes you say: “may you be blessed” to every person who passes you by.
I did that – and also said “I love you” at times (in my head).

I send these thoughts out to every person I saw that day. Unpersonal, all-loving, joyful.

I had many realizations on this day -but one stuck out:

That I had chosen to suffer.
Everything had happened because I pulled it into my life.
I tried to control everything instead of realizing how much I could influence everything by being myself, by loving, by allowing myself to shine and things to unfold.

I remembered my purpose and was grateful for everything that happened to me up to this point in life.

I was happy, simply happy because that was the deepest source within me it was who I am – and I was grateful! So grateful to be alive.
I gave in – and surrendered.

That day, after I felt more like myself than ever before, Tim texted me back. I asked him to call me and we had a 3 hour conversation on the phone – realizing how much we loved each other.

This was the beginning of our journey together.

—————————————————————————-
What I want to share with you all are these simple steps:
—————————————————————————-

—Be happy!
Go back to your origin which is your joy.
You do not have to suffer, suffering is something we fear and we learned it within society.

If you are blessed, send blessings to others
– simply as thoughts. You don’t have to know anyone, just wish the whole world or people you encounter, the very best and send them your love – anonymously.
It will come back to you threefold!

Share your joy and happiness with the world.

Be YOURSELF. There is no one but you. No one can live the life that you are living in the way that you do – and that is a blessing!
So feel free, share your love, share the treasures deep within you.

My life has changed completely and from the moment we moved together there hasn’t been a day where we’ve been apart.

I can be myself around him – he knows me better than anyone else ever could.

Thank you, Tim, you are a blessing to me!

La Aramaryland

The process of trusting, letting go and making room for that what is to come.

A year ago from today,
I was ready to completely let go of everything and everyone that wasn’t meant to be in my life any longer.

I remember telling the universe: “I am ready to be with the one who is meant for me“.

After releasing two men in my life within a process of 6 weeks – and surrendering to the universe, the one man who truly loved me, came back into my life – on the 23rd of October 2016.

I am writing this because I know so many who are going through the process of letting go of someone they truly love – perhaps my experience can help you find clarity, too…

(this is a very honest post to my friends)

————————–

We all read the quote: “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.”

This is what I had to go through last September and October, with two different people.

It was a huge process of clearing, mentally, physically and spiritually and it was hurtful – but looking back, in my heart I always knew who was deeply meant for me, who I truly loved and that he loved me, too.

But was he ready? Was I ready?

Sometimes you need to end things that aren’t good for you so I completely blocked the one guy I knew who wasn’t right for me –  I had held on to him for over 2 years but I felt free and relieved after I did that.
I deleted any pictures or posts I ever made about my love for him and blocked him. More out of my own protection of not looking back into the past.

The other man in my life (my now life-partner):
I gave him time to realize what he wanted.
Gave him space to figure things out on his own, without me being in his presence –  I didn’t contact him at all.
We weren’t friends on facebook at that point.
But my heart always said:
He will come back to you. Let him come to you.

I channeled for myself, within my heart, after my mind was clearer, because when you honestly listen to yourself, you know the answers – you can go to as many coaches as you want to – they will only know a part of the story and maybe give you some good advice but your inner source, your intuition, knows more than they will ever know.

I detached from the situations I was in and spent times by myself, discovering what I wanted in life. Going out with friends, talking to them on facebook.
Talibah, Jen, Olga and Lisa were my go-to people, online and offline, no matter what. They were always there for me and I am forever grateful for that, you have helped me in ways no one else could have.

The only thing I did that connected me to my man was put up a cover picture of his lake. On the 23rd of October, he responded.
That was the day he came back into my life.

I would have never imagined that I could be so happy.
My life is just beginning.

The most important message for you from me is:

-Listen to your heart.
Give the other person the time and space to figure out what s/he wants. If s/he wants you in her/his life, s/he will make room for you to be there.
Allow the universe to help you.
-Believe in love.
Love is not always easy BUT SO WORTH IT. It takes love, patience and forgiveness (to yourself and the other).
The happy ever after story: you meet, you love, you never fight and there will never be problems: is a rarity. If you’ve found that, wonderful – if not: don’t give up (on love), fight for what you dream for and who you love, but also know when to let things go their own way…

I knew Tim about 2 years before we truly decided to not only be together but also to be partners in life and profession.

Now we have a journey in front of us that I never dared to dream about before and I am happier than I’ve ever been.

I have had a big journey already, coming overseas to the city of my dreams – but now our journey is even bigger, traveling, sending messages into the world, through our music and beyond.

All in all I can say, no matter how painful the process was: I don’t regret one day of the process and any other day before and after that.

 

La Ara / Helen Davies

 

Rise in love, don’t fall…

Falling in love is one thing. Rising in love is another.
It often starts with the fall until you rise together.

Rising in love means that nothing and no one will be able to break the promises and bonds you give each other and that you live your love every day.

It starts with you as a person. Finding yourself and your purpose on earth in the first place. It’s when both of you are whole and happy within that you will be able to give each other love and look at each other with love.

Then little things won’t bother you because you understand that they are part of the other.

If you are single, do yourself a favor and focus on yourself. You will meet the right person when you are ready to start over.

If you are too focused on the need of being with someone, you don’t get to enjoy life the way you should.

Life is a gift, a present – and present is the magical word in this sentence.

Be present with yourself, be a present to yourself. Enjoy being by yourself, having no one to answer to but yourself.

Only then can you hear the call of your true love after all!

 

La Ara

Uncover

I want you to uncover me.
To peel my layers of.
What is inside is just for you to see,
You’ll find a new me to love.

I’ll share with you my insecurities,
I’ll hide from you no more.
Continue the search, dive into the depth of me,
You’ll never feel forlorn.

Cause I will find you within my forbidden walls,
Where only I was traveling far and wide.
You can hear that inner call,
When I looked for a true man by my side.

Now you are here and I feel fear,
But I’ll no longer give in to it.
I was afraid you’d disappear,
Once we would be intimit.

But you proved me wrong,
The rose has lost her thorns.
It’s why I sing this song,
To show I’m no longer torn.

You’ve shown me now that I can trust,
And love with all my heart.
The past is gone, it turned to dust,
Our future is the start.

So come now and let me uncover
The layers, wrapped around your soul.
We’ve made it this far with each other,
It’s time to lose control.

La Ara

The Promise

And they danced in the cosmos, so close that they felt each others heartbeat… surrounded by the light and the laughter of the stars Touching each other more with their soul than with their body because, being from other planets, they were hardly physical.

“Don’t forget me!”, he whispered, holding her so close that they felt as if they were one. “Remember to wake me up, when you remember who we are, with the kiss of uncondititional, eternal love.”

She knew the moment of goodbye was soon to come. “Don’t leave me!”, she felt a heaviness she never felt before – in Sirius there is no such thing as heaviness – but Earth had already started to make its presence felt and she heard the call of adventure, as did Darius.

Darius looked into her eyes: “I will never leave you! No matter how long it takes for the two of us to find back to our union, I will FIND you! But you will have to be strong and remember…. remember this moment, this promise we are giving each other now.”

“Time goes by so quickly!”, La Ara sighed. “We only have this last dance before we disappear and I just became your royal wife. How can life be so cruel to separate us again?”

“We will always feel each other, no matter how far apart – and if I exist within Earths dimension when you are there or if I am in a different realm. We will have dreams, get signs and feel each others presence, no matter if our lifetime is with someone else or not. We will always meet before we come back and when the time is right, you and I will reunite on Earth and there will be no going back.”

La Ara looked away… she did not want to show him her tears.

“My love – my fair and royal queen, don’t you ever turn away from me when the tears wet your lovely cheeks. The sparkle in your eyes has never been more beautiful as in this pure moment of sadness. But I am so excited to help Gaia and be part of her children. We are meant to create something unique and special – and after many incarnations, we will unite again and finish what we have started, as one.”

He pulled her close one more time. The eternal embrace, that both would always feel when they closed their eyes, surrounded both with love and the knowing that they would never be alone. Then he vanished and La Ara was left behind, knowing she would soon follow him to Earth and search for him until he appeared after many, many lifetimes on earth as well as on many other planets.

“I am and will forever be yours, Darius!”, she whispered, moving to the rhythm of her stars laughter. Then La Ara, Goddess of the starwinds, closed her eyes and vanished into air. A long second passed by and when she opened her eyes…

 

La Ara