Tag Archives: My Story

Relationship – Working On Yourself First!

Ladies, especially the ones who are unhappy with – or angry at – a man right now… I would love to have a conversation with you, from heart to heart.

The other day I was talking to my man about relationships and exes and things really started to get me thinking:

Honestly, what do we women expect from men?
We expect way too much. We want them to be perfect (they have to live up to our expectations) and if they go a little off of the path of perfection, we drop them or badmouth them, in front of friends, family and on Facebook.or we continuously post posts about how we strong women don’t need men yada yada ya. But in the end one of our deepest desires is to be with someone special, right?

Remember… the law of attraction. Like attracts like… and isn’t the man we dated or the man we are with our own reflection?

When I was single I lived in New York by myself for 3 years. Even before that I lived by myself for more than 13 years and it gave me time to truly know myself. No distractions. I was searching for love, yes, but not just any love.
True love. Someone who could be a true partner by my side. I read a lot of books on men and women but most of all on the divine feminine. Since I was 17 I researched and even did my school finals in psychology on ‘Men’s fear on strong women’.

I took the time to discover who I am – read a lot and explored my environment.
I so adored taking myself to a show or a movie and especially out to eat.

I learned to truly enjoy being by myself because I knew there would come a day where I would no longer be by myself. Then I would get to share everything with a special someone but til then I would be my own special someone.

I did not search for someone actively. Maybe that has to do with my stubbornness of loving one man at a time and for a while even if he doesn’t love me back. You can say that’s good or bad, if you like, but it helped me to get here.
That’s how I am, i don’t give up. Not on people, not on friends, not on plans and visions.

I feel lucky that I was that way because it didn’t allow me to go crazy and sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry… and that’s easy to do in New York City…

When I did go out with someone and things didn’t go the way I wanted them to go: I did a self analysis. I wrote about it, spoke with friends i chose to be my go-to-person and made choices to treat myself better and to have others treat me better.

Most importantly I didn’t say to myself that every man is stupid and that it only had to do with him that things went wrong.

I truly feel that women nowadays have too many high expectations and don’t bring enough to the table themselves.
We want our men to be successful, wealthy, emotionally stable, no mama-boy, spiritually ready… completely complete.

You will never get a ‘perfect ‘ man because we are all human and even if we think we are done with a topic there may still be something inside of us that may need attention later in life.

Let me ask you this:
are you there already? Are you finished, do you completely know what you want in life? Because if not…

Wouldn’t you say we can only expect from someone else something that we have already reached?!?

As soon as we still have our own topics that take up our energy, like past family issues or past dramas and people we can’t forgive… are we really at the point to ask from our men that they have to be ‘better’ than us.

I am in a very fortunate and happy place but my relationship is far from perfect and I wouldn’t want it to be. If it were so, where would be room to grow together?
I am not my partner and he is not me so we can’t expect to understand each other all the time or to read each other’s mind.
Being together in a two room trailer means to accept each other unconditionally with all the flaws we have and I know that I have many flaws!
I thank my partner that he loves me as I am and doesn’t want to try to change me. Yet we talk about everything that isn’t right yet and we will both try to make things better.

Being in a relationship means to go through life together. You can’t expect anyone to catch you if you haven’t caught yourself.

And if you haven’t truly taken the time to get to know yourself, how can you expect someone else to know you?

Just a few thoughts I put out there to anyone who is ready to read it.

Much love,

La Ara

My Miracle Day (a Life Lesson)

Almost a year ago, Tim and I had a time apart. 
A time that was necessary for the both of us – in order to grow and truly know what we want… a time in which I truly suffered and yet I felt it was a cleansing that was completely necessary in order for my next step ahead…

…I had no idea…

The day on which Tim came back into my life (and stayed) on February 19th 2017, was a miraculous day…

I remember walking through Brooklyn, by the ocean, listening to an mp3 by my dear friend Maya KahNah who did a reading on my twin flame and me.

She made it very clear that it was up to me to allow things to happen in my life. My responsability to trust in the process and to have faith in us. That I was very powerful and that my thoughts of feeling less than I am could keep him away from me.

Though I loved him more than anything, I realized I was ready to let go… especially of control and trusted in the process…

I had written him a text message a few days before, telling him that I miss him and that I asked of his forgiveness of my reactions when he broke up with me.

The weather was beautiful and I felt blessed to take a walk by the water. I calmed down and relaxed, with headphones on my head.

I had listened to Matt Kahn the other day – who had a great exercise which makes you say: “may you be blessed” to every person who passes you by.
I did that – and also said “I love you” at times (in my head).

I send these thoughts out to every person I saw that day. Unpersonal, all-loving, joyful.

I had many realizations on this day -but one stuck out:

That I had chosen to suffer.
Everything had happened because I pulled it into my life.
I tried to control everything instead of realizing how much I could influence everything by being myself, by loving, by allowing myself to shine and things to unfold.

I remembered my purpose and was grateful for everything that happened to me up to this point in life.

I was happy, simply happy because that was the deepest source within me it was who I am – and I was grateful! So grateful to be alive.
I gave in – and surrendered.

That day, after I felt more like myself than ever before, Tim texted me back. I asked him to call me and we had a 3 hour conversation on the phone – realizing how much we loved each other.

This was the beginning of our journey together.

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What I want to share with you all are these simple steps:
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—Be happy!
Go back to your origin which is your joy.
You do not have to suffer, suffering is something we fear and we learned it within society.

If you are blessed, send blessings to others
– simply as thoughts. You don’t have to know anyone, just wish the whole world or people you encounter, the very best and send them your love – anonymously.
It will come back to you threefold!

Share your joy and happiness with the world.

Be YOURSELF. There is no one but you. No one can live the life that you are living in the way that you do – and that is a blessing!
So feel free, share your love, share the treasures deep within you.

My life has changed completely and from the moment we moved together there hasn’t been a day where we’ve been apart.

I can be myself around him – he knows me better than anyone else ever could.

Thank you, Tim, you are a blessing to me!

La Aramaryland