I am who I want to be – not who someone else wants me to be

I wrote this exactly a year ago and I am sharing this again!!!
And today it’s even more significant than 365 years ago

Yesterday I was told that people think of me as strange because I smile. Because I find happiness and beauty in the little things…
People thought of me the same way in Germany/Austria. People are all the same way. But why should I change to make them happy by me being unhappy about little things I normally find joy in???
It’s my nature.

I choose to be happy. Believe me, I could complain about thousand things. But I chose not to because I have the privilege to make the most out of my life and out of who and what I am. I wear things every day that other people would only wear on stage.
I make myself beautiful by feeling beautiful. What’s on the inside goes to the outside. If I feel like wearing a long golden dress at daytime, I will (I’m still searching for it but there is no doubt that it will be in my posession very soon because I manifestate it in my dreams)
My life IS a musical/a dream. My world, the world my soul lives in, is miraculas every day. Why should it not be???
Am I not allowed to see miracles in every living being, in every breath I take and move I make?
Should I close my eyes or not look at the face of a mother kissing her child?
I am who I am, because of all the experiences I’ve had up to now. Tomorrow I will be someone like today with a few more experiences.1429748977865
I want to live every moment, in the fullest way possible. With happiness, joy, knowledge of my purpose (and no, that’s not me being a star on Broadway – that’s one of MANY goals)
I feel lucky, I feel beautiful, every move I make is art. If I will like moving to music, I will, doesn’t matter where I am. Even if the music is only in my head.
The reason why people are interfering in other peoples’ life is because they don’t know how to make a “top” story out of their own. So they look for sensations everywhere else, never in their hearts.

Have you ever spoken to yourself? To your soul?
There are days when I record myself on tape, talking to me. Especially if I’ve experienced something powerful/wonder-ful. I remind myself every day how lucky I am. And on some days, when I feel down – I listen to those reminders. I could fill books with stories I’ve gone through in the last (year and) 6 months – and even more books about the years before.
My adventures are better than 9/10 of the ones I see on TV. And why? Because I love being alive and feel it inside of me.
And it hasn’t always been that way. I’ve been through very, very low and bad times. With depressions, feelings of unworthiness, unhappiness – feeling ugly been there, done that.

I chose to take a different step and perspective. One step at a time.
And you know what? Whenever I feel REALLY AWFUL (which I do once in a while) – I will give myself a few minutes to feel that way – go deep into it, very deep – question it – and change my view. And I’m back to days like today.

Awesome, incredible, happy, wonderful, successfull, loveable, sexy, beautiful, exciting, fun, humorous, active, authentic, musical days like today

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Looking back

Looking back I remember all the years –
I spent in search while shedding tears.

I look back at how I used to feel,
Terrified, not feeling real.

There was a time I couldn’t remember,
Who I was, – loosing myself, I felt like a trembler.

There was a time, I felt disconnected,
Wanting to be loved, I felt unrespected.

For years I searched to find my strength,
Hoping that there may be a change.

Now I stand here and I realize,
The change occurs if you see through those lies.

Lies that people tell you now and then –
When you try to be someone they could love again.

If you lose weight, you will be happy,
If you do sports, you will be snappy.

If you learn more, you will be wise,
And most of all, never tell lies…

A man never cries,
A woman has to be quiet and nice.

The past year I learned that it starts with myself –
By taking off the loads from my inner shelf.

That I have to love me first,
Only then can I quench my inner thirst.

I am as strong as never before,
I now spread my wings and can finally soar.

I look back in a more than thankful way,
For every person who had something to say.

Who contributed to reveal –
The missconceptions of how I feel.

I can’t recognize the girl I once was,
Seeing my growth after all the loss.

No longer in a cage today,
I’m finally on my unique way.

Now I can leave behind –
The past with an unfettered mind.

I’m free to open up my doors,
I walk my path without romores.

My strength is that I’m finally me,
The one who I always wanted to be.

The woman I saw in my dreams as a child:
Beautiful, strong and dashingly wild!

La Ara

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

If I would say
only talk about things you truly believe in and live by
you would probably agree with me: that sounds absolutely right and doable…

But the question is:

Do we do that?
Do we really do that? Are we living by that which we are saying? Do we truly trust that only good things happen to us?

If you truly believe in something, you don’t have to repeat it over and over again, because you know it’s going to happen.

If you “know”, someone loves you, you won’t say: but he loves me, I am sure he loves me – I can feel he loves me. Awww but he doesn’t love me. Or DOES he love me? Why doesn’t he call me? He said he’d be there, he didn’t come. No, he doesn’t love me… But yet, he loves me… right???

or:

I am good at this job. I am great at this job. Damn, I suck. I am so bad at this – and yet, I am meant for this job. Why don’t I get a promotion? Man, I want a promotion! But I’m so bad at this. Come on now! I deserve it!!!

Can you see how often you contradict yourself with your own words? Sometimes even within one or two sentences…

We are sending out so many mixed signals into the world, to our friends and families that the universe often throws its hands up in dispair ūüėČ
Those insecurities inside ourselves, make miracles/magic/wishes impossible to come true.

If we order something at amazon, we don’t call or write them every day and ask if they sent our order away, do we?
We know it will arrive – we are excited about it – it will be here any day soon – but we will not walk around with mixed emotions of maybe – maybe nots.

I myself have come to the point where I realized – there are many things I trust in.
But then there are the biggest dreams – the highest goals, wishes, desires that I have – that seem so far away – like: being with the man I love, having a career as a singer, a healer – there is so much more that I want to do in this life – I want to write, I want to entertain, to inspire… – and there are moments where I believe I will never reach any of them.

Until now I did not feel worthy enough.
I didn’t trust that I deserve my dreams to come true.

Who really believes in miracles?
“Miracles are for others – not for me.” “They are Fairytales”.

So here’s the thing:

If YOU don’t believe in yourself and that you are here for a reason – if YOU don’t KNOW deep inside of you, that you can achieve everything you ever desired – who will?
WHO will if not you?

It’s wonderful to have people who believe in you – it’s amazing to have parents behind you, amazing friends who tell you, you are awesome and you’ll make it big – but if you don’t start to trust your heart, your imagination and that there is something BIG happening for you out there, as soon as you truly believe in yourself – you will never get there.

Start to listen to yourself when you speak.

Are you postive when it comes to your self-awareness and your qualities?
As an artist, a writer, a healer, a doctor Рno matter what you do Рdo you believe (or even better: KNOW) that you have a valuable contribution to give to the world?

Are you able to inspire with words, thoughts or deeds?

If you only had one day to live, what would you do? What do you want others to remember you by?

Are you ready?

Then go out there and fulfill your DESTINY!
Change the world by changing your inner world.

Be the unique YOU that you are meant to be… don’t try to be like anyone¬†else – there are enough out there who already are, yet only very few who are aware of their true being.

  Be one of those!!!

Dare to be different!

Trust in your beauty! Your Awesomness!! Your Power!!!

And Please:

Be careful what you say about yourself. Keep a positve, beautiful picture of yourself in mind, the highest version of yourself – don’t trust others opinions who think they may know you…

Discern what you know about yourself from what you heard about yourself. Be honest if you haven’t gotten to the best self-image yet. You are able to glow and shine within an instant, by changing your self-perception and projecting this new version of you into the world! Go and be! Flow, enjoy the world. See it with new eyes – the eyes of the marvellous¬†you that you are…

You have the choice to see yourself with new eyes EVERY DAY.
Let every cell of your body feel your inner beauty! You will see – the perception of the outer world will change if you change your inner world and become aware of the fact that you are a soul with a vessel to move around with and enjoy what the world has to give you!

Love to you all!!!

La Ara

Shine

What’s the use of going out into the world – if you feel empty and unhappy?

If you believe in the law of attraction – which always sets in, no matter if you believe in it or not – you will only pull negative experiences into your life – the more you speak about negativity, the more you will see what’s within you outside of you.

Be aware of this fact!

We don’t learn this in school.

No one tells you that what you put out there will get back to you…
We love to listen to the radio, watch movies – and if we really live in them, well, we also pull whatever we hear and watch into our lives…

Let me tell you something.

You, right there – you, reading this article – are a beautiful, unique, infinite being. It’s not up to the world to give you good experience so you can feel good inside – it’s the other way around!

But we are not hearing this often enough.

Somehow we have been trained to only “hear” the negative things. We can’t accept compliments because they don’t feel as natural to us as insults.
Or as I just heard yesterday: compliments don’t stay long enough in our mind, we need an experience to be in our memory for at least 6 seconds to be remembered in the future.

Also, if we do get compliments, we have an automatic mechanisme in our mind that says: he/she’s lying,,,

Why can’t we accept that we are beautiful, complete beings?
Babies are perfect – they may not walk, talk, run around – they are not academically intelligent right at that moment and tell us great philosophies – but do we care?
They are unconditionally loved. They bring such a beauty within them – and if we look into their eyes – we feel that they know EVERYTHING.

Then WE – us “grownups” start to destroy the perfection of the baby by starting to tell the child that is has sooo much to learn. We start arguing, screaming, giving the child the feeling that it knows nothing and will only be loved if it listens to us.

All of us have gone through this.

The good thing about being a grownup is that we can learn to see the beauty withing ourselves again, we can give ourselves compliments and allow ourselves to accept compliments from others.

It’s time to let go of the voices of others and to listen to the only one that counts – our own voice, the voice of love, the voice of your heart.

Go out there and shine, beautiful one! Let out your sparkle!!!

No one can ever be compared to you!!!

La Ara

The Divine Feminine, Love, Spirituality and Music