Category Archives: selfcare

Freedom

I’ve been thinking a lot about freedom lately. I am the most free I have ever felt. I will never forget where I have been or came from.

The proverbial chains that I have been placed in from school, family, work or other duties plus the shackles of duty I have bounded myself with are gone.

The promises and burdens for friends or girlfriends or other unappreciative people I do not even know anymore, no longer hold me. I have cast them aside.

For good reason.

A step towards my own freedom.

No one can tell you how to live!

Not your mom, your boss or your peers.

Get rid of those who would hold you back in favor of more supporting company, or none at all.

Don’t be afraid to stand alone for your own belief in yourself and others are sure to follow.

That is how leaders are born.

Courage.

Bravery in the the face of worry. Know that you are guided when you start living the way you are meant to.

Fear is always there, it’s what you do with it.

Illusions have always surrounded and bound us.

It’s time to shut them down in the name of our own truth.

Think for ourselves and make our own choices.

Whatever they are.

Guestpost from

Timothy James (check him out: https://theawakenedadventurer.tumblr.com)

Relationship – Working On Yourself First!

Ladies, especially the ones who are unhappy with – or angry at – a man right now… I would love to have a conversation with you, from heart to heart.

The other day I was talking to my man about relationships and exes and things really started to get me thinking:

Honestly, what do we women expect from men?
We expect way too much. We want them to be perfect (they have to live up to our expectations) and if they go a little off of the path of perfection, we drop them or badmouth them, in front of friends, family and on Facebook.or we continuously post posts about how we strong women don’t need men yada yada ya. But in the end one of our deepest desires is to be with someone special, right?

Remember… the law of attraction. Like attracts like… and isn’t the man we dated or the man we are with our own reflection?

When I was single I lived in New York by myself for 3 years. Even before that I lived by myself for more than 13 years and it gave me time to truly know myself. No distractions. I was searching for love, yes, but not just any love.
True love. Someone who could be a true partner by my side. I read a lot of books on men and women but most of all on the divine feminine. Since I was 17 I researched and even did my school finals in psychology on ‘Men’s fear on strong women’.

I took the time to discover who I am – read a lot and explored my environment.
I so adored taking myself to a show or a movie and especially out to eat.

I learned to truly enjoy being by myself because I knew there would come a day where I would no longer be by myself. Then I would get to share everything with a special someone but til then I would be my own special someone.

I did not search for someone actively. Maybe that has to do with my stubbornness of loving one man at a time and for a while even if he doesn’t love me back. You can say that’s good or bad, if you like, but it helped me to get here.
That’s how I am, i don’t give up. Not on people, not on friends, not on plans and visions.

I feel lucky that I was that way because it didn’t allow me to go crazy and sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry… and that’s easy to do in New York City…

When I did go out with someone and things didn’t go the way I wanted them to go: I did a self analysis. I wrote about it, spoke with friends i chose to be my go-to-person and made choices to treat myself better and to have others treat me better.

Most importantly I didn’t say to myself that every man is stupid and that it only had to do with him that things went wrong.

I truly feel that women nowadays have too many high expectations and don’t bring enough to the table themselves.
We want our men to be successful, wealthy, emotionally stable, no mama-boy, spiritually ready… completely complete.

You will never get a ‘perfect ‘ man because we are all human and even if we think we are done with a topic there may still be something inside of us that may need attention later in life.

Let me ask you this:
are you there already? Are you finished, do you completely know what you want in life? Because if not…

Wouldn’t you say we can only expect from someone else something that we have already reached?!?

As soon as we still have our own topics that take up our energy, like past family issues or past dramas and people we can’t forgive… are we really at the point to ask from our men that they have to be ‘better’ than us.

I am in a very fortunate and happy place but my relationship is far from perfect and I wouldn’t want it to be. If it were so, where would be room to grow together?
I am not my partner and he is not me so we can’t expect to understand each other all the time or to read each other’s mind.
Being together in a two room trailer means to accept each other unconditionally with all the flaws we have and I know that I have many flaws!
I thank my partner that he loves me as I am and doesn’t want to try to change me. Yet we talk about everything that isn’t right yet and we will both try to make things better.

Being in a relationship means to go through life together. You can’t expect anyone to catch you if you haven’t caught yourself.

And if you haven’t truly taken the time to get to know yourself, how can you expect someone else to know you?

Just a few thoughts I put out there to anyone who is ready to read it.

Much love,

La Ara

Selfcare

Some people have it naturally…
…but others struggle with it…
SELF LOVE.
In order to be happy in this world and to walk freely amongst others, with an open heart and filled with love, you have to give yourself everything first.
Whatever you would want to give others…. give it to yourself first!
Go out to the movies, watch the stars in the sky, read a book to yourself.
Take yourself to the most exquisite restaurant and enjoy alone-time.
You are more important than anyone else out there.
Because honestly: almost everyone puts him/herself first.
So why shouldn’t you?
It is not ego-istic, although ego simply is the latin word for “I” and why shouldn’t “I” take care of myself? Who else would do it if not I???
Your ego is the identity you walk around with every day. The moment you learn that you are separate from others you learn to say “I”.
It’s not a “bad thing” at all, it depends on how you use it… it’s always about balance.

Our life is not a Hollywood movie (that would mean it lasts for 2 hours and we would only see the highlights in it) but it can come close to it with these three important steps:

1) Be the most important person in your life.
2) Be the main role, not some minor part.
3) Take care of yourself as if you were your best friend.

You don’t have to only be there for others, in the contrary.
Be there for yourself first and you can take care of others in no time.
But if you are only here to serve others, you will soon have no more energy in your life.
Some people sacrifice themselves so much that they get burned out… you have to feed your flame with air in order for it to continue to burn – it needs room to burn, space.
Spread your wings on the path of selflove and say out loud: I love myself! Look into the mirror, deep into your eyes – and look at you as if you would look at your partner. With the eyes of truest love.
Allow your inner fire to burn intensely, for you and for others, by taking time to yourself and loving yourself as much as you love everyone else, if not a little more 😉
Have a glorious Monday, everyone.
Start the week right by loving yourself as who you are!
Remember – out of billions of people, you came here to be yourself.
So enjoy your journey! It is amazing that you are here, right now, on this planet with so much freedom.
I wish you peace and happiness!
La Ara