Category Archives: Relationship

Relationship – Working On Yourself First!

Ladies, especially the ones who are unhappy with – or angry at – a man right now… I would love to have a conversation with you, from heart to heart.

The other day I was talking to my man about relationships and exes and things really started to get me thinking:

Honestly, what do we women expect from men?
We expect way too much. We want them to be perfect (they have to live up to our expectations) and if they go a little off of the path of perfection, we drop them or badmouth them, in front of friends, family and on Facebook.or we continuously post posts about how we strong women don’t need men yada yada ya. But in the end one of our deepest desires is to be with someone special, right?

Remember… the law of attraction. Like attracts like… and isn’t the man we dated or the man we are with our own reflection?

When I was single I lived in New York by myself for 3 years. Even before that I lived by myself for more than 13 years and it gave me time to truly know myself. No distractions. I was searching for love, yes, but not just any love.
True love. Someone who could be a true partner by my side. I read a lot of books on men and women but most of all on the divine feminine. Since I was 17 I researched and even did my school finals in psychology on ‘Men’s fear on strong women’.

I took the time to discover who I am – read a lot and explored my environment.
I so adored taking myself to a show or a movie and especially out to eat.

I learned to truly enjoy being by myself because I knew there would come a day where I would no longer be by myself. Then I would get to share everything with a special someone but til then I would be my own special someone.

I did not search for someone actively. Maybe that has to do with my stubbornness of loving one man at a time and for a while even if he doesn’t love me back. You can say that’s good or bad, if you like, but it helped me to get here.
That’s how I am, i don’t give up. Not on people, not on friends, not on plans and visions.

I feel lucky that I was that way because it didn’t allow me to go crazy and sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry… and that’s easy to do in New York City…

When I did go out with someone and things didn’t go the way I wanted them to go: I did a self analysis. I wrote about it, spoke with friends i chose to be my go-to-person and made choices to treat myself better and to have others treat me better.

Most importantly I didn’t say to myself that every man is stupid and that it only had to do with him that things went wrong.

I truly feel that women nowadays have too many high expectations and don’t bring enough to the table themselves.
We want our men to be successful, wealthy, emotionally stable, no mama-boy, spiritually ready… completely complete.

You will never get a ‘perfect ‘ man because we are all human and even if we think we are done with a topic there may still be something inside of us that may need attention later in life.

Let me ask you this:
are you there already? Are you finished, do you completely know what you want in life? Because if not…

Wouldn’t you say we can only expect from someone else something that we have already reached?!?

As soon as we still have our own topics that take up our energy, like past family issues or past dramas and people we can’t forgive… are we really at the point to ask from our men that they have to be ‘better’ than us.

I am in a very fortunate and happy place but my relationship is far from perfect and I wouldn’t want it to be. If it were so, where would be room to grow together?
I am not my partner and he is not me so we can’t expect to understand each other all the time or to read each other’s mind.
Being together in a two room trailer means to accept each other unconditionally with all the flaws we have and I know that I have many flaws!
I thank my partner that he loves me as I am and doesn’t want to try to change me. Yet we talk about everything that isn’t right yet and we will both try to make things better.

Being in a relationship means to go through life together. You can’t expect anyone to catch you if you haven’t caught yourself.

And if you haven’t truly taken the time to get to know yourself, how can you expect someone else to know you?

Just a few thoughts I put out there to anyone who is ready to read it.

Much love,

La Ara

The Fall

She screamed with no voice. Unheard but heard deeper by the universe than any scream-out-of-her-voice could have provoked.

Why was he unable to hear her, to see her, to find her, when all that was there was this infinite love within both of them.

But what other chance did she have than to simply let (herself) go and fall into the thorns of the woods, against every bone in her body that told her it would only hurt… she would be bruised and might even die from the fall.

She was lying on the ground of the tower and wasn’t able to speak…
But she was alive. She felt every muscle crying out in pain, but the love within her heart kept her from fainting. There was not much time left. If her mother found her here, she would die anyway.

In a dark world, filled with hate and jealousy – two hearts were brought together – she would not give up just because someone destroyed the only access he had to come to her. As long as her heart would beat, it would call out for him and the pain of being apart from him was stronger than the pain within her body.

Slowly she picked herself up and stumbled into the forest, to find the man who had been seeking for her all of his life.

Rapunzel ran through the woods, wounded from the fall she went through when she escaped the tower, but she did it, to see her prince again. She didn’t give up because she knew that a world without true love wasn’t worth living for.

 

La Ara

 

being of woods

The process of trusting, letting go and making room for that what is to come.

A year ago from today,
I was ready to completely let go of everything and everyone that wasn’t meant to be in my life any longer.

I remember telling the universe: “I am ready to be with the one who is meant for me“.

After releasing two men in my life within a process of 6 weeks – and surrendering to the universe, the one man who truly loved me, came back into my life – on the 23rd of October 2016.

I am writing this because I know so many who are going through the process of letting go of someone they truly love – perhaps my experience can help you find clarity, too…

(this is a very honest post to my friends)

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We all read the quote: “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.”

This is what I had to go through last September and October, with two different people.

It was a huge process of clearing, mentally, physically and spiritually and it was hurtful – but looking back, in my heart I always knew who was deeply meant for me, who I truly loved and that he loved me, too.

But was he ready? Was I ready?

Sometimes you need to end things that aren’t good for you so I completely blocked the one guy I knew who wasn’t right for me –  I had held on to him for over 2 years but I felt free and relieved after I did that.
I deleted any pictures or posts I ever made about my love for him and blocked him. More out of my own protection of not looking back into the past.

The other man in my life (my now life-partner):
I gave him time to realize what he wanted.
Gave him space to figure things out on his own, without me being in his presence –  I didn’t contact him at all.
We weren’t friends on facebook at that point.
But my heart always said:
He will come back to you. Let him come to you.

I channeled for myself, within my heart, after my mind was clearer, because when you honestly listen to yourself, you know the answers – you can go to as many coaches as you want to – they will only know a part of the story and maybe give you some good advice but your inner source, your intuition, knows more than they will ever know.

I detached from the situations I was in and spent times by myself, discovering what I wanted in life. Going out with friends, talking to them on facebook.
Talibah, Jen, Olga and Lisa were my go-to people, online and offline, no matter what. They were always there for me and I am forever grateful for that, you have helped me in ways no one else could have.

The only thing I did that connected me to my man was put up a cover picture of his lake. On the 23rd of October, he responded.
That was the day he came back into my life.

I would have never imagined that I could be so happy.
My life is just beginning.

The most important message for you from me is:

-Listen to your heart.
Give the other person the time and space to figure out what s/he wants. If s/he wants you in her/his life, s/he will make room for you to be there.
Allow the universe to help you.
-Believe in love.
Love is not always easy BUT SO WORTH IT. It takes love, patience and forgiveness (to yourself and the other).
The happy ever after story: you meet, you love, you never fight and there will never be problems: is a rarity. If you’ve found that, wonderful – if not: don’t give up (on love), fight for what you dream for and who you love, but also know when to let things go their own way…

I knew Tim about 2 years before we truly decided to not only be together but also to be partners in life and profession.

Now we have a journey in front of us that I never dared to dream about before and I am happier than I’ve ever been.

I have had a big journey already, coming overseas to the city of my dreams – but now our journey is even bigger, traveling, sending messages into the world, through our music and beyond.

All in all I can say, no matter how painful the process was: I don’t regret one day of the process and any other day before and after that.

 

La Ara / Helen Davies

 

Rise in love, don’t fall…

Falling in love is one thing. Rising in love is another.
It often starts with the fall until you rise together.

Rising in love means that nothing and no one will be able to break the promises and bonds you give each other and that you live your love every day.

It starts with you as a person. Finding yourself and your purpose on earth in the first place. It’s when both of you are whole and happy within that you will be able to give each other love and look at each other with love.

Then little things won’t bother you because you understand that they are part of the other.

If you are single, do yourself a favor and focus on yourself. You will meet the right person when you are ready to start over.

If you are too focused on the need of being with someone, you don’t get to enjoy life the way you should.

Life is a gift, a present – and present is the magical word in this sentence.

Be present with yourself, be a present to yourself. Enjoy being by yourself, having no one to answer to but yourself.

Only then can you hear the call of your true love after all!

 

La Ara

The Promise

And they danced in the cosmos, so close that they felt each others heartbeat… surrounded by the light and the laughter of the stars Touching each other more with their soul than with their body because, being from other planets, they were hardly physical.

“Don’t forget me!”, he whispered, holding her so close that they felt as if they were one. “Remember to wake me up, when you remember who we are, with the kiss of uncondititional, eternal love.”

She knew the moment of goodbye was soon to come. “Don’t leave me!”, she felt a heaviness she never felt before – in Sirius there is no such thing as heaviness – but Earth had already started to make its presence felt and she heard the call of adventure, as did Darius.

Darius looked into her eyes: “I will never leave you! No matter how long it takes for the two of us to find back to our union, I will FIND you! But you will have to be strong and remember…. remember this moment, this promise we are giving each other now.”

“Time goes by so quickly!”, La Ara sighed. “We only have this last dance before we disappear and I just became your royal wife. How can life be so cruel to separate us again?”

“We will always feel each other, no matter how far apart – and if I exist within Earths dimension when you are there or if I am in a different realm. We will have dreams, get signs and feel each others presence, no matter if our lifetime is with someone else or not. We will always meet before we come back and when the time is right, you and I will reunite on Earth and there will be no going back.”

La Ara looked away… she did not want to show him her tears.

“My love – my fair and royal queen, don’t you ever turn away from me when the tears wet your lovely cheeks. The sparkle in your eyes has never been more beautiful as in this pure moment of sadness. But I am so excited to help Gaia and be part of her children. We are meant to create something unique and special – and after many incarnations, we will unite again and finish what we have started, as one.”

He pulled her close one more time. The eternal embrace, that both would always feel when they closed their eyes, surrounded both with love and the knowing that they would never be alone. Then he vanished and La Ara was left behind, knowing she would soon follow him to Earth and search for him until he appeared after many, many lifetimes on earth as well as on many other planets.

“I am and will forever be yours, Darius!”, she whispered, moving to the rhythm of her stars laughter. Then La Ara, Goddess of the starwinds, closed her eyes and vanished into air. A long second passed by and when she opened her eyes…

 

La Ara

Relationships

When you’re in a relationship, it’s just about the two of you.

Starting something new means the past is over, done. There are lessons from the past and possible pain from the past, but the person you are with now has nothing to do with the past itself.

S/he is your future, so make sure you have an open heart and don’t think you pull a person into your life with the same patterns.

Let go before you step into a future with this person.

Learn to trust this new feeling you have now. We are not here to repeat our personal history. It’s simply a story you lived through.

Remember this:

Every day is new and magical.

So allow yourself to let this magnificent feeling of butterflies fluttering through your body and soul, in.

Rise and shine to this new adventure called feeling of bliss, loving and being loved in return.

If you don’t think you are lovable, how do you think can others love you?!? And if someone else loves you, do you believe it? Or are you looking for reasons why a person simply can not love you?!?
‘I am not good enough, not pretty enough, too intense, too deep’, whatever excuse you will look for… are all excuses because you don’t love and believe in yourself enough…

Allow yourself the chance to completely rise in love with your love and your selflove!

La Ara