Looking back

Looking back I remember all the years –
I spent in search while shedding tears.

I look back at how I used to feel,
Terrified, not feeling real.

There was a time I couldn’t remember,
Who I was, – loosing myself, I felt like a trembler.

There was a time, I felt disconnected,
Wanting to be loved, I felt unrespected.

For years I searched to find my strength,
Hoping that there may be a change.

Now I stand here and I realize,
The change occurs if you see through those lies.

Lies that people tell you now and then –
When you try to be someone they could love again.

If you lose weight, you will be happy,
If you do sports, you will be snappy.

If you learn more, you will be wise,
And most of all, never tell lies…

A man never cries,
A woman has to be quiet and nice.

The past year I learned that it starts with myself –
By taking off the loads from my inner shelf.

That I have to love me first,
Only then can I quench my inner thirst.

I am as strong as never before,
I now spread my wings and can finally soar.

I look back in a more than thankful way,
For every person who had something to say.

Who contributed to reveal –
The missconceptions of how I feel.

I can’t recognize the girl I once was,
Seeing my growth after all the loss.

No longer in a cage today,
I’m finally on my unique way.

Now I can leave behind –
The past with an unfettered mind.

I’m free to open up my doors,
I walk my path without romores.

My strength is that I’m finally me,
The one who I always wanted to be.

The woman I saw in my dreams as a child:
Beautiful, strong and dashingly wild!

La Ara