It’s not always easy to look to the inside when there is so much distraction outside…
But today I had one of my best days ever – and that wasn’t because of the many flirts I had with the outside world (although it was nice, of course) – it was, because I was happy from the inside. And who had to do with it? Just me! I had moments today where I thought: I’ve had enough of this… and that… and I do. I’ve had enough of trying to be the way others would like me to be…
In the end people don’t want stories about people who fit in – they want stories about people who stand out – and that’s one of my greatest talents: to stand out…
People may mistaken my smile for a way to have people like me, but that is not true. Often enough I have been underestimated, but that’s because I let them think I could never raise my voice. The truth is, I choose to be positive and loyal, trustworthy and fair.
But if I realize that the person in front of me wants to harm or use me, my mood can change within an instant…
Within my life there is no such thing as loneliness, again, I choose to be by myself a lot to work within my inner world. So that I can fully embrace life at will when I am “out there”.
Yesterday I was told that people think of me as strange because I smile. Because I find happiness and beauty in the little things… People thought of me the same way in Germany/Austria. People are all the same way. But why should I change to make them happy by me being unhappy about little things I normally find joy in???
It’s my true nature: joy – everything else is “learned” through society. We are trained to complain about thousands of things on a daily basis.
But I chose not to participate in this “habit” because I have the privilege to make the most out of my life and out of who and what I am.
I wear things every day that other people would only wear on stage.
I make myself beautiful by feeling beautiful. What’s on the inside goes to the outside. If I feel like wearing a long golden dress at daytime, I will (I’m still searching for it but there is no doubt that it will be in my posession very soon because I manifestate it in my dreams)
My life IS a musical/a dream. My world, the world my soul lives in, is miraculas every day. Why should it not be???
Am I not allowed to see miracles in every living being, in every breath I take and move I make?
Should I close my eyes or not look at the face of a mother kissing her child?
I am who I am, because of all the experiences I’ve had up to now. Tomorrow I will be someone like today with a few more experiences.
I want to live every moment, in the fullest way possible. With happiness, joy, knowledge of my purpose (and no, that’s not me being a star on Broadway – that’s one of MANY goals)
I feel lucky, I feel beautiful, every move I make is art. If I will like moving to music, I will, doesn’t matter where I am. Even if the music is only in my head and I am at a train station.
The reason why people are interfering in other peoples’ life is because they don’t know how to make a “top” story out of their own. So they look for sensations everywhere else, never in their hearts.
Have you ever spoken to yourself? To your soul?
There are days when I record myself on tape, talking to me. Especially if I’ve experienced something powerful/wonder-ful. I remind myself every day how lucky I am. And on some days, when I feel down – I listen to those reminders. I could fill books with stories I’ve gone through in the last 6 months – and even more books about the years before.
My adventures are better than 9/10 of the ones I see on TV. And why? Because I love being alive and feel it inside of me.
And it hasn’t always been that way. I’ve been through very, very low and bad times. With depressions, feelings of unworthiness, unhappiness – feeling ugly been there, done that. I chose to take a different step and perspective. One step at a time.
And you know what? Whenever I feel REALLY AWFUL (which I do) – I will gie myself a few minutes to feel that way – go deep into it, very deep – question it – and change my view. And I’m back to days like today.
Awesome, incredible, happy, wonderful, successfull, loveable, sexy, beautiful, exciting, fun, humorous, active, authentic, musical days like today