Relationship – Working On Yourself First!

Ladies, especially the ones who are unhappy with – or angry at – a man right now… I would love to have a conversation with you, from heart to heart.

The other day I was talking to my man about relationships and exes and things really started to get me thinking:

Honestly, what do we women expect from men?
We expect way too much. We want them to be perfect (they have to live up to our expectations) and if they go a little off of the path of perfection, we drop them or badmouth them, in front of friends, family and on Facebook.or we continuously post posts about how we strong women don’t need men yada yada ya. But in the end one of our deepest desires is to be with someone special, right?

Remember… the law of attraction. Like attracts like… and isn’t the man we dated or the man we are with our own reflection?

When I was single I lived in New York by myself for 3 years. Even before that I lived by myself for more than 13 years and it gave me time to truly know myself. No distractions. I was searching for love, yes, but not just any love.
True love. Someone who could be a true partner by my side. I read a lot of books on men and women but most of all on the divine feminine. Since I was 17 I researched and even did my school finals in psychology on ‘Men’s fear on strong women’.

I took the time to discover who I am – read a lot and explored my environment.
I so adored taking myself to a show or a movie and especially out to eat.

I learned to truly enjoy being by myself because I knew there would come a day where I would no longer be by myself. Then I would get to share everything with a special someone but til then I would be my own special someone.

I did not search for someone actively. Maybe that has to do with my stubbornness of loving one man at a time and for a while even if he doesn’t love me back. You can say that’s good or bad, if you like, but it helped me to get here.
That’s how I am, i don’t give up. Not on people, not on friends, not on plans and visions.

I feel lucky that I was that way because it didn’t allow me to go crazy and sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry… and that’s easy to do in New York City…

When I did go out with someone and things didn’t go the way I wanted them to go: I did a self analysis. I wrote about it, spoke with friends i chose to be my go-to-person and made choices to treat myself better and to have others treat me better.

Most importantly I didn’t say to myself that every man is stupid and that it only had to do with him that things went wrong.

I truly feel that women nowadays have too many high expectations and don’t bring enough to the table themselves.
We want our men to be successful, wealthy, emotionally stable, no mama-boy, spiritually ready… completely complete.

You will never get a ‘perfect ‘ man because we are all human and even if we think we are done with a topic there may still be something inside of us that may need attention later in life.

Let me ask you this:
are you there already? Are you finished, do you completely know what you want in life? Because if not…

Wouldn’t you say we can only expect from someone else something that we have already reached?!?

As soon as we still have our own topics that take up our energy, like past family issues or past dramas and people we can’t forgive… are we really at the point to ask from our men that they have to be ‘better’ than us.

I am in a very fortunate and happy place but my relationship is far from perfect and I wouldn’t want it to be. If it were so, where would be room to grow together?
I am not my partner and he is not me so we can’t expect to understand each other all the time or to read each other’s mind.
Being together in a two room trailer means to accept each other unconditionally with all the flaws we have and I know that I have many flaws!
I thank my partner that he loves me as I am and doesn’t want to try to change me. Yet we talk about everything that isn’t right yet and we will both try to make things better.

Being in a relationship means to go through life together. You can’t expect anyone to catch you if you haven’t caught yourself.

And if you haven’t truly taken the time to get to know yourself, how can you expect someone else to know you?

Just a few thoughts I put out there to anyone who is ready to read it.

Much love,

La Ara

Motivation/Affirmation A-Z

Tell yourself today (and every day)
(parden me for writing in the feminine version, but this is also an affirmation process for me. Any man reading this, use the masculine form 😉 )

If this is too long for you, just pick one letter from A-Z and read that part!

A
I am amazing, I live in abundance and I know that I will attract what I project.

B
I am beautiful, brilliant and I prosper in whatever I am doing.

C
I am charming, I can make someone’s day with a smile.
I follow my inner calling, whatever it may be. Only I know the answer to that: not my parents or friends and family, teachers or mentors. Whatever my heart speaks to is what I am meant to do.
I am the conscious creator of my life.

D
I am daring and devoted to my dreams!
And I will fearlessly follow them!

E
I am elegant, I elevate others through my posivite approach in life. I am enthusiastic and enchanting!

F
I am funny, fearless and fair. I am focused on my wellbeing and I know that everyone has the right to live his/her dreams the way he/she wants to.

G
I am glamorous.
I love to fill my day with sparkles and glitter.
No one can cage me in because my wings of positivity will always get me out.
I am gracious and glad to see others happy!

H
I am happy and I will make this attitude to my daily habit.
I am in harmony with my thoughts and I will focus on getting me visions out.
I will heal the pain from the past by letting it go, accepting what no longer is meant to stay in my life and starting into a harmonious day every day.
It is up to me to head towards my goals and to heal my heart, for it is holy. I will prosper in my health and honor myself every day.

I
I imagine a life filled with incredible adventures every day that I am on earth. I do not need anyone to tell me what to do because I live after my own ideal of life.
I am an independent individual who has her own ideas of life and I will live that way.
I can ignite everyone’s heart by first igniting my own. I can influence the beauty of the world by adding my own kind of inspiration.

J
I am on a beautiful journey and I realize what a jewel this planet truly is.
I will not judge others who have not been in my shoes for I know that I know nothing about their lives.

K
Kindness is key.
I can only see through my own eyes. I do not have the answer to everything – I can only share what I experienced myself.
All I can do is focus on myself by being the kindest version of what I want others to see me as.
I can kindle other people’s hearts but only once my own energy has found its king-sized truest form after letting go of all the pain within, always caused by myself in the end because I allowed others to treat me less than I am worthy of.

L
I am lovable, loyal and I laugh at the pain of yesterday.
I learned from my mistakes and will not allow others to treat me less than I treat myself.
Love is all I know and I will treat myself with love first so that I can give all the love in the world to the people out there who have a lack of it.
Life is beautiful if I allow myself to see it!
I look lovely and luminious and I love to light up other peoples’ world!
I treat myself with luxury that can be anything that is worth a lot to me. For I am a lady (lad) of true light: What comes in comes out of me and I will light up the world with my passion and love!
I am not here to follow, I am here to be a leader! And with this I know what a responsability I have for myself and my surrounding!
I will take the leap to create the most beautiful and powerful life I want to have for myself!
I believe in the law of attraction. Everything I send out will come back to me, three fold!

M
I believe in magick.
Magical moments appear every day.
Music fills my heart continously, whether I hear it or make it. It is a mystical experience with my soul.
Money is only a form of abundance, basically it is energy that I get for something I gave. When I look at money that way, I will no longer fear earning money and I can live abundantly in energy.
I am a magnat of success and my mana is to be a muse to others by living the truest calling that my soul has for me.

N
I will nourish my soul every day with a positive attitude and feel inspired to pass it on to the world.
Going against my heart is a no-go for me!
I will not let others pull me down for I am filled with enough positive energy that I can just let it pass through me!

O
I am open, omnipotent and original.
I am free to observe everything around me without having to be a part of it.
I am not here to obey other peoples or religious rules.
I have my own and as long as I am true to myself, no one can hurt me.
I will accept any kind of opportunity that life brings me and I will stay open-minded towards other peoples’ ideas.
My belief in myself out-weighs anyone elses’ opinion.

P
I am perfect as I am.
I give myself room to grow every day but no one can tell me I am not ready or imperfect.
I am patient towards others who have not had the same experiences as I have had.
I will be polite even if I don’t agree with someone.
My home is my palace and I will treat it accordingly.
No one can rain on my parade for I live a life in paradise!
I will participate in life and not lock myself into my four walls just because I feel that others have done me wrong.
I promise myself to take good care of my heart and my soul and not to give my power away to other people or institutions.

Q
I will question everything I hear for whatever I hear only comes from other people who have had other experiences.
According to quantum physics life is not as past scientists said it was – we have learned that the watcher can influence the happening.
So I will question whatever people tell me, too.
I am my own queen and my main source in my queenhood.
I have learned to quiet my inner voices down and to let them pass me by without listening to them.
I am on a big quest, a journey called life. And I am excited to be a part of it!

R
I reign in my own kingdom.
I am living a radiant life.
I will reach everything I ever wanted – by realizing what I truly want and putting effort into that.
I am responsible for the way the world re-acts to me – and I will no longer make other people to villans only to feel better!
A true reign comes from the heart – through wisdom, honesty and grace.

S
I am sexy, sensual and sacred.
Silence fills my lips before I have anything nasty to say because you can say more with silence than a deaf ear can ever hear.
The world is a sacred place and I will not do her harm – this goes for the beings that live in her, too.
If I have something sagacious to say, I will do so.
My partner is my sanctuary and I will not do him harm or let others talk badly about him or our relationship.
If I am single I will not harden about the other gender of relationship and will not the other gender down – for only what I truly believe in I attract and if I believe that men are all the same, I will not meet the person I am meant to be with.
I will look my shadow-self in the eye and let go of the negative traids I have been dealing with so I can get ready and be with the person who is meant to be in my life.

T
I will be true to myself.
I am talented, tenacious and tender.
Every morning when I wake up, I will thank the world for yet another day.
I can’t say thank you enough for the honor to have this life – for it is a treasure and I am thrilled to yet experience another day!
I thrive in what I love to do and people will recognize those talents in me and support me tremendously!
I train myself to see the good in people and I trust in the transformation I am going through!

U
I am unique, unafraid and unbeaten.
I understand that everyone is going through their own experience and I will not tell them that what I believe in is the only, the ultimate way.
I am here to unite not to seperate.
In the end I am unbroken because no one can break me but I myself.
I love myself unconditionally. I am undivided and whole.
I am here to uplift and not to bring other people down.
My life is going upward with every positive step I take.
Ulitimately it is up to me to make my life um-mazing 😉

V
I value life and the people around me.
Everyones’ thoughts and ideas are valid, I am not the only one living on this planet and as much as I struggle I know that others do, too.
The world is vast. There is enough for everyone here!
I let my voice speak to those who want to hear it. Those in need of kindness and upflitment. Kind words will help others to overcome their pain and fear.

W
I am wonderful, warm and whole.
I am wealthy… But wealth does not mean rich. It’s not about money but being wealthy in mind, heart and sou.
I wake up every morning, realizing that I already have everything I need and willing to attract more into my life.
I have let go of all the walls I built, instead I have an open space around me that invites others to be around me.
I am wide awak and fully aware of life. Every step I take I take consciously!
I am a true winner!
I am a watcher, watching over others with love and watching out for the world.
I wish others no harm, I want others to be happy how ever they want to live.
If they choose to be unhappy then I will let them live that way, too without forcing my believes on them.
But I am willing to help if others want me to.
And I will be a witness to every-day-miracles and share them with the world.
For the world is a wonderful place and I will write about the good things that occur in my life!

X
I am xenial towards others. If others ask for my company, I will be there if I can.

Y
I yearn for peace and I know if I finally find it within myself, nothing and no one can take peace away from me.
I am a yes-sayer to life because life is what happens to you when you are ready to say YES! I want it all!!!
No matter how old I am, I am young at heart and will not punish my future-lover by comparing him to one from the past.

Z
I am zesty, zanny and zealed!
No matter what happens, I am completely zen.

 

La Ara

Happiness is an Inside Job!

When you have reached the point where no matter what others do or say can put you down, hurt you or distract you, then your life really begins.

Because that is when you start to pull new possibilities into your life.

With that happiness you have changed your own frequency, your vibration.

Some may leave you because they can not understand how you can ‘avoid’ bad news when that’s part of everyone’s life.

You won’t be informed at all. You won’t know where people got killed or who died, which star just got divorced…’

Ummmmmmm do you really want to know all this stuff?!?

 

IMG_2739.JPG

Or are you more interested in your own magical life???

Some people may leave because you stopped suffering for/with them when they tell you the story of their lives… let me tell you something.

When you are with your friends and they suffer and share their stories with you, it is good to show them your love and understanding. But as soon as you are by yourself it is not within your responsibility to continue to suffer or think about THEIR pain! Y

You can take 5 minutes a day to pray for them, to send them love – but let it go afterwards. Being too attached to other peoples’ stories will give you less room for your life. You don’t watch a movie and take all the emotions from the movie into your own life with you afterwards, do you?

Remember the great life you have and focus simply on being happy!

If others disappear because you don’t suffer as much (for and with them) as you used to, be glad they’re gone.
They only needed a therapist and not a friend – to load their troubles on.
If they share their happiness with you and join you in their happiness, then the friendship is real.

Remember:

This life – YOUR life – is all about you.
Allow yourself to be selfish enough to focus on yourself – because everyone welse does, too.

Be selfish enough to be happy (inside), no matter what. And you are helping the whole world more than you could with any other emotion!

The world wants HAPPY people!
So look into your mirror today and smile!!!

 

La Ara

Selfcare

Some people have it naturally…
…but others struggle with it…
SELF LOVE.
In order to be happy in this world and to walk freely amongst others, with an open heart and filled with love, you have to give yourself everything first.
Whatever you would want to give others…. give it to yourself first!
Go out to the movies, watch the stars in the sky, read a book to yourself.
Take yourself to the most exquisite restaurant and enjoy alone-time.
You are more important than anyone else out there.
Because honestly: almost everyone puts him/herself first.
So why shouldn’t you?
It is not ego-istic, although ego simply is the latin word for “I” and why shouldn’t “I” take care of myself? Who else would do it if not I???
Your ego is the identity you walk around with every day. The moment you learn that you are separate from others you learn to say “I”.
It’s not a “bad thing” at all, it depends on how you use it… it’s always about balance.

Our life is not a Hollywood movie (that would mean it lasts for 2 hours and we would only see the highlights in it) but it can come close to it with these three important steps:

1) Be the most important person in your life.
2) Be the main role, not some minor part.
3) Take care of yourself as if you were your best friend.

You don’t have to only be there for others, in the contrary.
Be there for yourself first and you can take care of others in no time.
But if you are only here to serve others, you will soon have no more energy in your life.
Some people sacrifice themselves so much that they get burned out… you have to feed your flame with air in order for it to continue to burn – it needs room to burn, space.
Spread your wings on the path of selflove and say out loud: I love myself! Look into the mirror, deep into your eyes – and look at you as if you would look at your partner. With the eyes of truest love.
Allow your inner fire to burn intensely, for you and for others, by taking time to yourself and loving yourself as much as you love everyone else, if not a little more 😉
Have a glorious Monday, everyone.
Start the week right by loving yourself as who you are!
Remember – out of billions of people, you came here to be yourself.
So enjoy your journey! It is amazing that you are here, right now, on this planet with so much freedom.
I wish you peace and happiness!
La Ara

The Fall

She screamed with no voice. Unheard but heard deeper by the universe than any scream-out-of-her-voice could have provoked.

Why was he unable to hear her, to see her, to find her, when all that was there was this infinite love within both of them.

But what other chance did she have than to simply let (herself) go and fall into the thorns of the woods, against every bone in her body that told her it would only hurt… she would be bruised and might even die from the fall.

She was lying on the ground of the tower and wasn’t able to speak…
But she was alive. She felt every muscle crying out in pain, but the love within her heart kept her from fainting. There was not much time left. If her mother found her here, she would die anyway.

In a dark world, filled with hate and jealousy – two hearts were brought together – she would not give up just because someone destroyed the only access he had to come to her. As long as her heart would beat, it would call out for him and the pain of being apart from him was stronger than the pain within her body.

Slowly she picked herself up and stumbled into the forest, to find the man who had been seeking for her all of his life.

Rapunzel ran through the woods, wounded from the fall she went through when she escaped the tower, but she did it, to see her prince again. She didn’t give up because she knew that a world without true love wasn’t worth living for.

 

La Ara

 

being of woods

Inspire

If there is one desire within me on how to make you feel… it would be making you feel special.

Inspiring you to achieve your highest dreams, helping you to figure out what your lifes’ purpose is.

This is a desire within me that I was born with.

I was given the gift to see more in others than they can see in themselves.

I don’t live here to tap into fear or to pull others down, I am here to enchant, to inspire, to set your souls on fire – so that you can go and help others to see who they truly are.

So I am here to awaken and remember who I am so that I can help you to see the beauty within you!

My dearest friend, you came here to be a wayshower, and if you read this, then this is for you, too!

You came here to be different, not to fit in – you came to stick out, to shine!
Stop doubting yourself and walk with confidence.

Where I once came from, before I incarnated on planet Gaia, I was in a world where people had values. There were no lies, no deception. People helped each other, we were teamplayers. We did not betray each other – not in relationships or friendships – kids were taught through life lessons, basics were taught and then they could choose what they wanted to know.

Each of us were unique and that made our world complete.

Most of you are not from here but have incarnated many times.

Allow yourself to be different and trust that everything you see within your dreams – everything you can visualize, is able to come true for you!!!

Let love get the best of you – not fear.

There is more than enough here for everyone, don’t let greed or hate touch your heart!

You are here to change the world!

I love you!

 

La Ara

You…

I look at you and see a shining star.
Once in the skies, now you are here to fulfill your purpose.

The star you once were smashed into millions of pieces in order to get here – and each piece became a life that you lived.

Now you are on the journey of the last piece of star-splitter and this life is the life of awakening.
It is up to you now to wake up and put the pieces together.

Isn’t it a miracle that you are here right now?
You are here to see all the manifestations of your dreams.

You are not here to suffer!
You are here to create miracles.

It starts within yourself.
Your whole body is a miracle…

It consists of millions of cells, each performing particular functions yet each linked to the entire body.
Each cell is living consciousness.

You don’t have control over your breathing yet your body breathes for you.
It is a living being in itself and here to serve you.

You are not your thoughts, you are beyond them.
So take control of what comes into your awareness and with that into your life.

First there is a picture – then there is a thought – and then comes the manifestation.
What do you see for yourself?

If there were no walls between your highest dreams and your reality,
What would you dream about?

Allow yourself to truly manifest what you desire and hold your head up high.
You are here to be majestic, not to make yourself small.

A star burst into pieces so you can live – and that star is you!
Remember that…

 

La Ara

The Divine Feminine, Love, Spirituality and Music